I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Randomize
