Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
