I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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