So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
