It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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