So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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