well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
