Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
