May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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