You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
