Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
