I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
