so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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