They should really pass out barf bags in church
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
