Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
