so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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