ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
