Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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