words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
