why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
