I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
