but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize