You're my little dorito
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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