Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
