And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
