how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
