today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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