It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
