I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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