What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
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