yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
