That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
