I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
