you're like a bully in the Christmas story
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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