My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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