I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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