Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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