Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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