Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
