lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
