Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
