it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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