how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
