At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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