the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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