Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
