Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Randomize
