I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
