In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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