tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
