Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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