Whod you bang
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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