Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
